Friday, August 10, 2012

Live from Louisville 2012: Merited Humility

Lights flash and music plays as thousands of teenagers worship God in a relentless pursuit after His love. Meanwhile, one of the thousands sits in contrast to the crowd, ferociously scribbling on her pad of paper. 

OK. I must admit that I am this girl. God has taught me various lessons on the subject of the Fine Arts Festival, and I couldn’t help but share:

Behind many things lays a root of pride. Whether excessive shyness, arrogant boldness or a variety of other problems, these actions tear us from God. For that reason, it makes me cringe when others refer to FAF as a “competition” where we “perform.” However, knowing a truth in our minds differs sometimes from living a truth from our hearts. 

Two weeks ago, I could easily preach the proverbial lecture on humility, failing to see the pride of my own life. God showed me through Monday night’s service with Tim Ross that I need to stand up and walk out of my pride. Sure, I can talk day and night about denying myself and following Christ, but in reality, I still pictured myself in front of thousands of teenagers presenting my spoken word. I still thought and even dreamed of "superiors" and merit awards. Why?

For my own personal gain. 

“Oh, but Amy,” you may assert, “those things are good. They help you have confidence that God really works through your gifts. Everyone loves awards.”

Does God need justification? Do we really need others’ approval to know that God uses us? If everyone loves awards, does that necessarily mean we need them?

No. When we allow God’s cleansing stream to sweep away all impurities, we recognize our emptiness without His flow. In reality, we do nothing without Him. Acts 17:28 reminds us that “...in Him we live and move and have our being” (NKJV). If that’s so, then we must rely on Him for all of our FAF presentations. He must minister through us.

The Fine Arts motto is “Discover. Develop. Deploy.” Obviously, FAF participants have discovered and wish to develop their gifts, but we often lose the deploy aspect. We think we must set up a specific time to do street outreach or play for the offertory. In reality, the deployment starts here. It starts now. The listeners in the audience, even the judges, need God’s ministry, and we have the opportunity to deliver that message. 

Even with that knowledge, we often find ourselves sucked into the “self-ministry” vacuum, thinking that we must invoke reaction among the audience. We try to measure the “efficiency of our deliverance.” Really, God works, whether visibly or invisibly. We simply need to trust Him. Then, He can use us to greater levels because our flesh has left our lifestyle.  

This revelation transformed my Fine Arts experience this year. Instead of stress, anxiety and chaos, I rested in Christ’s confidence, knowing that I could not fail in the ministerial sense because I never carried that obligation in the first place. God upheld me, and I can now reap those benefits. I invite you to do the same.